


The Burning with Orange

by Draskireis



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Buncha Friendly Idiots, Day 4: Games/Loneliness, Fall Year 3, Gen, Incipient pining, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Unintentional revelations, several background relationships of greater or lesser obviousness, stupidity with drinking games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draskireis/pseuds/Draskireis
Summary: Shitty's uncle gives him several bottles of grappa, which he brings with when returning for the Year 3 Home Opener.  Never Have I Ever ensues.





	The Burning with Orange

Somehow, Dex was not surprised that Jack and Shitty had come back to watch the SMH home opener. They’d won, happily—Dex would have been disappointed to have them go to the effort of coming down (up? Boston and Providence were both south. Back? Whatever) just to witness a loss—and both Bitty and Nursey had scored. He had been surprised to see his former teammates in the locker room—he hadn’t quite made it to the showers yet when he got to witness a just dressed Bitty give Jack a flying hug that staggered the bigger man. Bitty looked briefly sheepish before turning to give Shitty one that involved less momentum. The two alums shared a look, fondness and exasperation. Jack blushed slightly.

‘Good game, guys, but I’m sure you know that. What’re we gonna do to celebrate?’

Seeing Jack’s squirmy look, Ransom cut Holster off before he could announce a kegster. ‘We’re having a party, of course. Low-key, though, to minimize the chance of there surfacing pics of an NHL rookie partying with underage drinkers. You can judge our tub juice, Shits.’

‘I trust you two fuckers to do it right, but I’ll let you know. Shall we leave these gentlemen to their win, Jackabelle?’

‘Euh. Sure, Shits. See you all back at the Haus?’

They left to a chorus of yeahs—and Bits telling them that they each had a pie waiting and he knew that Jack scheduled a cheat day for today. Dex took a quick, thorough shower and dressed in street clothes. 

It was only moderately nippy out, but the sun had set and the gloaming was already fading. Dex was playing the game back in his head, agonizing over some of his fumbles to the point that he didn’t notice Nursey falling into step with him until he bumped his shoulder.

‘Hey. Good goal today, dude.’

‘You set me up for it, so, you know. It’s chill.’

‘Of course it is. I’m just glad we won the game Jack and Shitty came back for.’

Nursey hummed agreement, and Dex was struck by how much he appreciated Nursey’s ability to draw him out of his head. It was different from how Louis did it—less direct, less overtly caring. Still, it was effective—and has the added benefit of not drawing attention to Dex when he was lost in thought.

Louis was swamped this weekend—a heavy course load with a frontloaded term meant he’d had time to see the game as long as he’d brought his work with him. Not that he’d show up to a kegster anyway. They’d texted briefly; scheduled breakfast the next day.

‘You far enough ahead on your work to sacrifice tomorrow to a hangover?’

‘No, but my only paper’s due Wednesday, so that’s plenty of time. Readings I can sacrifice in the name of returning graduates. Also, way to project, Gingerlocks—are YOU far enough ahead on your work?’

‘Yes. And I don’t plan to get hung over, either.’

Nursey knocked into him again, hard enough to shove him off the path. Dex, once he regained his footing, returned it, and their progress toward the house turned into a slow-motion roughhousing event. A small part of Dex’s brain was wigging out, like usual; another part was shushing it and working to ignore his blushing. The rest was trying to get leverage on his d-partner.

He got it as they made it up to the Haus steps. Dex hip checked him at the same time as Nursey tripped. When he realized that Nursey was actually going down, he tried to catch him, but ended up off balance and went down with him.

‘Dammit, Nurse, you weren’t _actually_ supposed to fall over at that. I know I didn’t have enough leverage for that.’

‘I’d say you don’t know your own strength, but the number of fights you’ve mentioned and that I’ve seen suggest you do.’

Dex’s mouth closed so fast his teeth clicked. He was off Nursey like he’d been burned. He walked into the Haus without a further word, letting the door fall closed behind him without checking how far behind Nursey was.

‘Hey Dex, there’s French Silk hidden in the back of the fridge. First slice is yours, but I’ll let you know when it’s ready. I’ve got rhubarb coming out soon for Nursey. Everyone else is either in the living room or settling in upstairs.’

Dex went into the living room, where Ransom, Holster, Chowder, and Lardo were busily murdering each other in Smash Brothers. Lardo’s child-Link was pointedly focused on Holster’s Pikachu; Ransom was playing spoiler as Mr. Game-and-watch. Chowder was playing opportunist as Marsh. Chowder knocked Lardo and Holster off the screen simultaneously to claim his victory, celebrating with an obnoxious little happy dance that would have been awful if it were anyone but him.

‘Dammit, Chowder. I still needed to murder Pikachu, like, three more times.’

‘Sorry not sorry!’ Chowder grinned, braces flashing, and settled back onto the nasty green couch, then scooted over into Lardo’s space—earning him an elbow—so Dex could have a seat.

‘Thanks, dude.’

‘Course!’

‘Shitty! What’s taking you so long up there?’

Two minutes of silence later, Shitty ambled down the stairs, clutching two unlabeled green wine bottles.

‘Sorry Lards—reassuring one of the guys from my study group that yes, I would be there tomorrow, even if I was so horribly hung over that I better resembled a corpse than a person.’

‘You planning on being hungover?’ Lardo arched one sharp eyebrow.

‘Not particularly, but I think I’ve found something that tops tub juice.’

‘You have our attention.’ Ransom and Holster swiveled as one, still somehow both occupying the chair.

Shitty raised the bottles.

‘Gentlemen, I give you… well, my vintner uncle calls it grappa. It’s not, because it’s not nasty. He explained it to me as follows:’ Shitty put on as obnoxiously upper-crusty a Boston Brahmin accent as he could muster without wanting to slit his own throat ‘I take wine that I wouldn’t give to my wife’s horses, run it through my still until there is no trace of grape left, cut it with about ten percent water, and flavor it with half a shot of Grand Marnier. He left the water out of these bottles. Shit evaporates off your tongue. Do not mix this and tub juice tonight. Or, to be safe, ever.’

‘Shitty! You brought us New England moonshine!? How delightful. I’ll have to see how it compares to the real thing.’

‘Dinner first, Bittle. I’ll help, if you’re cooking. If not, I’ll order and pay.’

‘Mr. Zimmerman, you go sit down. You’ve already come up to see the game, and you’re a guest in this house.’

‘I’d prefer not to be. I did live here not five months ago.’

‘Course you did, sweetpea.’

_Sweetpea?_ , Dex thought. _That’s new. Isn’t it?_ He exchanged a glance with Chowder, who seemed to be thinking something similar. Not his business, really, so he filed it away as potentially irrelevant.

‘I was gonna suggest just ordering Thai food, Bits—you won us the game, no need to make you keep working. And it’s not like we can take alumni to the dining hall, particularly if we want to keep a low profile with them.’

‘My illustrious co-captain has spoken.’

‘ _Bro_.’ The pair fistbumped, still one atop the other on the chair.

‘That can’t be comfortable,’ Dex muttered.

‘Where’s Nursey, Dex?’ Chowder asked. ‘I thought you were gonna walk over with him like usual?’

‘He should be in here by now. He fell over just outside the house.’

‘He’s in the kitchen with his pie, Chow. You should get yours, Dex.’

‘Thanks, Jack. And Rans—put me down for pad see ew, like, one-star spicy.’

‘Spiced for white people, check.’

‘I can’t even say you’re wrong, dude,’ Dex sighed as he went into the kitchen. Why hadn’t Nursey joined them all in the living room? It’s not like they’d had a real fight outside. It’s not even like Dex had done anything _wrong_. Why was he so damn complicated?

‘Hey.’ Nursey addressed his first slice of pie.

‘Hey yourself. You okay, dude?’ Dex frowned.

‘Huh? Yeah, I’m chill. Just enjoying my pie.’

‘Dude, you’re three bites in to your first slice. At least try if you’re gonna lie to me. Do you want to talk about it, or do you wanna go order Thai food from Ransom and ignore it and me both?’

‘Well, when you put my options like that, Thai food it is.’ Nursey looked at him, eyes far too grey to be happy, as if challenging Dex. So he didn’t respond.

‘Okay.’ Dex turned to get a plate for his pie. He could hear Nursey making no move to leave the kitchen.

‘I’m sorry,’ Nursey said a beat later. ‘What I said outside was uncalled for.’

‘S’alright. It’s… not untrue, anyway.’

‘Right. That’s part of why I fucked up with it.’

‘You’re fine. Really. I wasn’t trying to knock you over, by the way.’

‘I kinda figured from your attempt to catch me.’

‘So, I’m good. You know I’m good. And you’re good, too, from my end. We good?’

‘Yeah, Poindexter, we’re good. And it’s a _good_ thing you’re not an English major.’

‘For so many reasons, dude. Now eat your pie or Bitty’ll worry you don’t like it.’

‘We can’t have that, now can we?’

‘Well, not least because you wouldn’t get any more rhubarb. Where did he even get it? It’s, like, three months off season. Also, how do I even know that?’

‘He has a whole bunch frozen. I’d be willing to believe he has, like, pockets of the student kitchens’ freezers all partitioned off for his personal use with ingredients no one will steal.’

‘Surprisingly plausible. Let’s head back in, yeah?’

‘K.’

‘Nursey! Bro! I missed you, you little fucker.’ Shitty seized Nursey as he entered the room, lifting him off the ground several inches.

‘Shitty, I’m bigger than you. Please put me down, I don’t want to fall on you and squash you like Poindexter did to me on the way over.’

‘You tripped!’

‘You shoved me!’

‘You started it.’

‘That’s… yeah, that’s true actually.’ His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes yet, but they were less clouded over, so Dex counted it as a win.

‘Good of you to join us, Nursey—we’re ordering Thai food. What do you want? Jack’s paying. Make sure to get your carbs in, Shitty’s got something he claims is nastier than tub juice.’

‘Ooooooooh, sugar daddy,’ Nursey fluttered his ridiculous eyelashes at Jack. ‘I’ll have drunken noodles, three stars, and a Thai iced coffee. Uh, is this the place that has the bomb-ass satay? If so, I’ll have an order of that, too.’

‘Good call, dude. Mark me down for one, too, Ransy.’

‘Already have, bro. I don’t know why I even ask you for your order anymore. I think you’re the last, Nursey, so I’ll go call it in. Figure an hour.’

Jack took the opportunity to go cut himself another slice of his pie, agreeing to Shitty’s demand that he bring one back for him, too. Everyone else settled down to further pixelated murder sprees.

‘You know what we should bring out?’

‘No, Holster, we are not bringing out GoldenEye again. That was an unmitigated disaster almost on the scale of Catan.’ Several people gasped at her invocation.

‘Can I see if Farmer can join us?’

‘Sure, Chow. She already knows me. Tell Ransom her order, though, to make sure she also gets food.’

‘Thanks, Jack! She’ll want red curry with chicken, Rans. Four stars, cuz she’s brave.’ Chowder bounded out the back door.

Farmer arrived in due course, as did dinner. Lardo took her vengeance against Holster seriously, and lost more than one game in pursuing it. He pouted at her, but there was no mercy to be had. 

‘I don’t deserve this! It’s persecution.’

‘You know what you did, Birkholtz.’

‘You initiated!’

‘I attacked everyone, though. You only attacked me back.’

Jack had taken over the chair, with Shitty octopused around his back, reading The Black Count over his shoulder. Dex had retrieved a couple chairs from the kitchen so there were more options than the floor, Jack’s chair, and squeezing yet more people onto the biohazard couch. Chowder had taken the floor, and leaned back onto Farmer’s knees. Nursey had one of the other chairs, but had moved it so he could face everyone.

‘What’re we doing after food?’

‘Movie night?’ Chowder offered hopefully.

‘That’s no way to celebrate the game you guys just had! Plus, I have this booze. And R&H promised to demonstrate their tub juice abilities.’

‘Pick one, Knight. Not both. Your own rule from earlier.’

‘Fine, no tub juice tonight, then. No kegster, no movie night… who else has ideas?’

Nursey grinned.

‘Never have I ever.’

‘Seriously, Nursey?’

‘Sure, Dex—it’s a great game. We played it for theater bonding all the time. It’s much better with booze, too. But all you need’s a cup to drink from. No one should be forced to drink, or to drink anything in particular.’

‘Sounds good to me. Since you’re up, Shits, bring me my pepper whiskey from the freezer? You know where the solo cups are, but you might wanna bring shot glasses, too, if you’re doling out your burning with orange.’

‘Yes, boss-lady.’ Shitty unwrapped himself from the back of Jack’s chair and poked Lardo as he went by. Well, tried to—without looking, she caught his hand and deflected it.

‘You know it. Just cuz you’ve graduated doesn’t mean I’m not still your manager.’

‘The lady speaks truth.’

Shitty came back carrying in one hand a frost-coated bottle of some sort of brown liquor in it that Lardo shorthanded to whiskey after giving up on getting Holster to say it right two years earlier, in the other hand a stack of shot glasses, which in turn supported a stack of solo cups he held in place with his chin. Bitty rolled his eyes.

‘You could have asked for help, you know. I don’t wanna have to clean up broken shot glasses, particularly when it looks like you’re carrying the Haus’s entire supply, including the one I use for measuring. I claim that one, _just_ so we’re clear.’

Drinks were distributed. Everyone got a glass of water, at Bitty and Jack’s joint insistence, as well as whatever else they might want. Beer for some. Beer and shots of the grappa for others. Nursey insisted that he get two fingers of the grappa in a solo cup. Those who were brave sipped at it—the near-universal opinion was that it was good paint thinner. Bitty was duly impressed, although he declared that the Grand Marnier was entirely the wrong way to flavor it.

‘We all set? I’ll start, then. Never have I ever had a driver’s license.’

Everyone drank, to groans and rolled eyes.

‘Way to turn your weakness into an offense, Nurse. Never have I ever fallen off a roof. Also, if two or fewer people drink, they gotta share stories.’

Nursey and Dex both drank.

‘Repairing the roof.’

‘Science building at Andover. You know the one, Shitty, with the stairs and the little, like, gazebo thing up top. Also, this grappa is, uh, strong.’

‘Never have I ever fallen off a ladder.’

‘Dammit, Chowder,’ Dex said as he swigged from his beer. ‘Why am I collateral damage? And how have you not fallen off a ladder before, Nurse, I call bullshit.’

‘Falling off a ladder would require having been on one in the first place. Knowing my weaknesses—gravity—I try to avoid them. Your turn, Farms.’

‘Never have I ever tripped over air.’ She smiled. ‘Drink up, Nurse.’

‘Betrayal!’

‘Who’s next? Sorta hard to figure since we’re not in a circle.’

‘You brought it up, Jack—you go.’

‘Never have I ever ranted about the systematic injustice of the world.’

Everyone drank except Jack, who offered up a ghost of a smile.

‘Never have I ever been out of New England except for hockey.’ 

Everyone drank again.

‘Wait, really, Dex? Also, nice save with the qualifier. Never have I ever worn a bedazzled jock.’ Shitty offered up a toast to Lardo who growled at him.

‘I wasn’t wearing them. They were on my arm for convenient holding.’

‘That counts as wearing. Consider it me collecting the price of helping you. Ransom—what haven’t you done?’

‘I haven’t been to a concert. Never have I ever that.’

Shock. Calamity. Jack didn’t drink, but only Ransom noticed. Holster declared that this needed fixing, immediately. Well, ASAP, anyway. Nursey asked what concerts Dex had been to. The game adjourned for a moment to refill water glasses and get beer for those who were only drinking the grappa, which was more effective than tub juice, if harder to get down. When they returned, Holster looked around with a dangerous glint in his eye.

‘We all back? Excellent. Never have I ever regretted kissing someone.’

Jack and Nursey grimaced and drank. Nursey coughed at the grappa’s burn. Half a beat behind him, seeing Jack pale as he realized only two people had drank, Dex and Lardo both drank. They nodded solidarity at each other.

‘Bits. Your turn.’

‘Never have I ever been to Canada.’

‘Bittle, really?’

‘What?’ he asked, all smirks and false innocence.

Nursey had to join everyone else in drinking because he didn’t exclude roadies as sharing a room with someone. Chowder joined Nursey, Shitty, and Holster for having serenaded someone with show tunes. Bitty was indignant at the suggestion that he’d ever done such a thing. Only Chowder and Shitty didn’t drink for chirp-flirting. Farmer made everyone drink (except Chowder, who beamed at her) for having willingly handled a puck off the ice. About that time, Dex noticed that Nursey was listing, and stole his booze to replace it with water. Shitty agreed to hide the other bottle of grappa, and play resumed.

‘Never have I ever taken non-prescription drugs. Booze doesn’t count. Pot does, even where it’s legal.’

‘Jaaaaaaaaack how could you dooooooo this?’ Shitty flopped over Dex’s lap to tug at Jack’s shirt sleeve. Jack snorted as Dex pushed him off. He got up, dusted himself off, and flounced back to the arm of the couch.

‘Never have I ever had a summer since elementary school without working at least one job.’ Farmer reached behind the couch to high-five Bits, who also didn’t drink.

‘Camp counselors for the win!’

‘Never have I ever snuck out—’ Shitty started.

‘Drink!’ Nursey shouted. ‘I was _there_.’

‘If you’d let me finish, Nurse, I was about to say for romantic purposes.’

‘Drink, Shits. I was there.’ Lardo responded.

‘That wasn’t sneaking out. That wasn’t sneaking anywhere!’

They drank, as did Jack, Nursey, Farmer, and Dex. Nursey raised an eyebrow at his defensive half, who rolled his eyes in response. He wished drunk-Nursey weren’t so observant. Chowder tried to discreetly make worry-eyes at Dex. Then it was Ransom’s turn.

‘Never have I ever regretted _not_ kissing someone.’

‘Not yet.’ Holster raised his cup, but didn’t drink. Jack and Lardo drank. Realizing they were alone in doing so, they shrugged.

‘We figured it out. Might have worked nearly as well if it had happened sooner. Might not have.’ Jack offered as an explanation.

Lardo nodded. ‘Same. Also there was this chick in Kenya. That coulda been a good time.’

‘Good variation, bro.’

‘Thanks, Holtzy—your turn now.’

‘Never have I ever committed a felony.’

Nursey and Farmer drank.

‘I stole a stop sign just before I graduated from Andover. Have it on the wall of my room.’ Stunned stares. ‘What. It was chill—I made sure it was a back road intersection used by locals enough that it’d get replaced quickly. Also, there were at least two white students with me in case the cops noticed. What’d you do, Farmer?’

Farmer smiled beatifically. ‘If you can find the articles, you’ll see.’

‘Ooooooookayyyy. Let’s dial this back a sec. Never have I ever casually referred to hockey royalty in conversation. Sorry not sorry, Jack.’

‘At least you’re taking Shits and Holster down with me.’

‘Oh yes. We’re all going to die from all this water we’re drinking, Jack.’

That returned them to Nursey, who had never gone fishing (neither had Chowder or Holster).

‘Never have I ever been in a play.’

‘Does tech count, Lardo?’

‘Yes, Dex.’

‘But you built sets—’

‘For a show that didn’t go up. Drink up, dude.’

‘Wait. Holster, you’ve never done theater?’

‘Nah, Nursey. I just sing. When’d you do it?’

‘Andover. Had to avoid running-based sports somehow. Can I at least switch back to beer now?’ Bitty nodded grudgingly, and Dex went to the kitchen to get him one.

‘On that topic, never have I ever blacked out.’

Nurse drank the last of his water; Jack, Shitty, and Ransom joined him.

‘Never have I ever pined over a crush.’

Dex waited to see how many people drank. Once a few—Jack, Lardo, Holster—drank, he did, too. Only Farmer herself and—really?—Ransom didn’t join in.

‘No pining, ever, Farmer?’

‘Nah. When I realize I’m crushing on someone, I usually ask them out. A coupla times, I got beaten to the punch.’ She punctuated her comment by kissing Chowder.

‘FOOOOINE!’

‘Add it to the tally, boys.’

Jack waited for the hubbub to quiet down, looking at Shitty appraisingly.

‘Never have I ever,’ he said with his chirping smile on ‘pranked someone so hard I got reprimanded for it.’

Shitty burst out laughing and finished his beer. Dex also drank.

‘Is this the nail polish story, Shitty?’

‘Yeah, bro. Well, the story of my response to it.’

‘What’d you do? I only know about how their tattling backfired on them and they got suspended for painting your nails while you slept.’

‘For the rest of you, some background. In my lower-mid year at Andover, some fuckers thought it would be funny to paint my nails blue while I slept. I was not yet sufficiently confident to rock that look, so I was mortified when I woke up to find my nails metallic goddamn blue. After half a day before I finally got a free period to go to the nurse, during which I learned a wide variety of new, upper-class slurs, I’d had enough. I found out who did it—a dude I thought I liked teamed up with an asshole who was bored—and then I planned. Never mind why Vero had nail polish in his dorm in the first place—frisbee, he said. My father also raised holy hell, but that’s a separate issue. One that had legal repercussions, mostly for the school.

‘Anyway, I bought a bag of flour. Like, a five-pound bag of it. Waited until the dorm was empty, and used a fan and an extension cord to blow half the bag under the gap below their dorm room doors into their rooms. Flour evenly coated everything. Got into their computers, their clothes—they were floordrobers as bad as you, Nurse—everything. It was so fucking good. And, funny enough, I never got pranked again.’

Shitty stood and bowed to the applause he received.

‘What about you, Dex?’

Nurse had noticed him drink. Damn.

‘I have four older siblings. I had to make it perfectly clear to them that it was not acceptable to wake me up before my alarm, which I set at an entirely reasonable hour for getting my shit done in the morning.’

‘Remind me not to wake you up except with coffee.’ Nursey started giggling.

‘Good life choice there, Nursey. For my part, never have I ever had a girlfriend.’

That turned some heads. It also hadn’t quite been what Dex had been thinking to say, but… well. Not like he was worried about the reception here. If people actually caught on.

‘Seriously, Dexy? Never? But you’d talked about sneaking out for romantic purpos—oof.’ Lardo elbowed him.

‘Drink, Nurse. This may be the only time I give you that order, so go for it.’ Chowder, Farmer, Jack, and Ransom raised their glasses, equal parts salute and toast. Chowder snuggled in closer to Farmer, at least partly as cover for the intensified worry-eyes, and Dex thought he heard her whisper that she’d tell him later.

‘Never have I ever played matchmaker.’

‘Bull. Shit. Shitty, drink, man.’

‘Hey, it worked, didn’t it?’

‘…yeah.’

Shitty drank. As did the team’s expected meddlers—Lardo, Chowder, and R&H.

Ransom grinned at the prospect of his turn. Specifically at Dex.

‘Never have I ever kissed a dude.’

Everyone drank. _Huh—even Chowder_ , Dex thought. Nurse choked on his beer, when Dex looked specifically at him while drinking.

‘Wait, what?’

‘Who’re you talking to, Nurse?’

‘ _You._ ’

‘I know that you’re drunk, but words are, like, your thing. Try using them?’

Nurse flapped his arms ineffectually. Dex smirked at him.

‘But you—and that fucking sticker—and. Shit.’ Dex felt like he could see the blood draining from Nursey’s ashen face as he stood unsteadily and bolted. Suddenly, his smirk felt hollow.

The door to the Haus slammed. The game was almost certainly over. No one moved, though, and the silence stretched to awkwardness. Shitty reacted first.

‘Thanks for trusting us with this, Dex, I hope you know we love you. That said… maybe you should go talk to Nurse. I think he’s figured out he owes you some apologies.’

Dex stood, got his jacket on, and waved his collective goodbye. He walked into the kitchen to drink another cup of water before heading out. He grabbed a bottle of Gatorade—Nursey’s awful lemon-lime—on impulse while he was in there. Then it was out onto the street, heading vaguely in the direction of who the fuck knew where. At—wait, when did it hit midnight? And when did it get legit cold out?

‘Dammit Nurse. You’d better be somewhere easy to find.’ Dex muttered to himself as he walked down frat row. No Nurse in sight. Had he fucking fled into the night? Cripes. ‘You’d also better not have broken your stupid neck.’

He made his way down toward the Pond, where Nursey liked to read when there were leaf piles to be had or whatever. No luck. Then to Lake Quad. Shouting didn’t get any response, either. He had to go to Faber—if not there, he’d call out the others.

There weren’t any lights on at Faber, he could see as he approached. Dex, shivering now, muttered curses under his breath. Then he heard sniffling.

‘Nursey?’

‘’m not here.’ It sounded like he either was or had been crying. Shit.

‘Where are you, then, if not here?’ Dex tried to keep his voice gentle without going overboard into obvious treating-him-with-kid-gloves territory, cuz he knew Nursey hated that. Had to make it sound at least a little chirpy.

‘Anywhere that I didn’t fuck things up.’ Dex walked toward where it sounded like Nursey was, but couldn’t find him on the benches or the ground.

‘No really, Nurse. Where _are_ you?’

‘Not here.’ Petulance was better than abject misery. Also, was he up a damn tree? Yup. There was one tree that had lost a lot of leaves, probably while Nursey climbed it.

‘How did you get up there?’

‘I… don’t know?’

‘You planning on coming down?’

‘Not soon. Can’t deal right now.’

‘But you’ll fucking freeze, dude. C’mon. Hop down. Wait, no. You’ll fall and break your neck and Bitty will straight up murder me cuz it’d be my fault you died.’

‘Not your fault. ‘m the asshole here. T’night, least.’

‘Yeah, well. Just cuz you’re an asshole doesn’t mean you should freeze to death. Can you climb down for me?’

He felt his pocket buzz. Probably someone asking after his success. Nursey, meantime, was trying to shuffle toward the trunk of the tree.

‘I… dunno if I can, Dexy. Shit. If you’re actually gay, I should probably stop play flirting at you to piss you off. I—’ Nursey hung his head and stopped moving.

‘Let’s save this for when you’re indoors and not up a tree, hey? Do I have to climb up to get you?’

‘No. You already do too much.’

Well that wasn’t helpful. And made no sense. But he still sounded lucid, so it must mean something to Nursey. So he grumbled, sloughed his bag and put it on the other side of the tree to prevent either of them from falling on his laptop, and started climbing.

‘What. Why’re you coming up?’

‘So I can help you down, Nurse. Don’t fall off. That’d put all my effort to waste, k?’

He kept up his reassuring commentary—well, commentary anyway, hopefully reassuring—as he climbed up into the low branch Nursey had perched on. It was a bough strong enough for the both of them, or he wouldn’t have dared. He wrapped his legs around the branch to steady himself, first, and then grabbed Nursey’s shoulder, to help him scooch closer to the trunk.

‘You trust me, Nursey, right?’

‘What do you want me to do?’

‘That’s not an answer, but since you don’t seem to want to jump off this branch like a normal human being up a tree—it’s literally eight feet to the ground—I want you to grab my forearms and hang onto them while you jump off so I can lower you to the ground.’

‘It’s the jumping that’s scary, now that I’m actually facing it, not the falling. The falling seems easy.’ Nursey leaned over and grabbed Dex’s forearms anyway, and Dex grabbed Nursey’s.

‘That’s why I’m here. Now, just lean forward and straighten your—’

Nursey slipped off the branch, which pulled Dex forward and then rotated him around the branch where his legs held on. Nurse squawked, and let go when he started to spin around because Dex’s arms reversed when he flipped under the branch. He fell the remaining two feet to the ground with a grunt, leaving Dex hanging from the tree branch by his legs trying not to laugh or bitch about the bright new pain in his thighs.

‘You alright, Nursey?’

‘Yeah. ‘M fine. Why’re you upside down?’

Dex grabbed the branch with his hands, let go with his legs, and dropped. He landed in a crouch not too far from Nursey. He got up and offered Nursey a hand.

‘I was upside down because I wasn’t gonna be able to get you to take my arms the right way so that I’d just have landed on the upper side of the branch. So here we are. And now, I’m walking you back to your dorm, because you’re drunk enough that running away from realizing I’m gay—and then _climbing a damn tree_ in the middle of the night in the fucking _cold_ —seemed like a good idea.

‘’m sorry. I shouldna—’

‘You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t get you, a lot of the time, and I worry. We aren’t talking about this tonight, though. We don’t even have to talk about it at all, if you don’t wanna.’

‘’M sorry.’

‘Hey—hey. No. Shush, k?’ Dex tried to channel his memories of how Ryan had taken care of him on rough days or when he’d done stupid shit as a kid. It was hard to do while being also responsible for ensuring Nursey didn’t trip and die on anything on the walk back to his dorm.

His phone buzzed again. Right. That’s a thing to take care of.

‘Gotta stop a sec, Nursey. Need to let the guys know you’re alright. Took a while to find you. They’re probably worried.’

SMH Group Chat

**Chris Chow:** Dex! You okay? Let us know when you’ve found him!

**Eric Bittle:** Please don’t murder Nursey, Dex. I’m sure he has an explanation. That you’ll get out of him when he’s sober.

**Jack:** If you plan on murdering him, Dex, consider body disposal problems first.

**Eric Bittle:** JACK!

**Jack:** what? It’s hard to get rid of bodies; Dex knows this, and should reconsider any murder plans accordingly.

**Justin Oluransi:** Bro. Using a semicolon in a text? Daaaaaaamn

**Chris Chow:** Dex! It’s been a while. Have you found him yet? Is Nursey okay?

**Adam Birkholtz:** If we don’t hear from you soon, we’re assuming at least one of you is dead and sending out search parties. Just so you know.

**Chris Chow:** Dex—let me know if you’re okay, too?

Dex texted the group chat, then Chowder.

**Me:** guys. Sorry. He was up a fucking tree near Faber. Got him down now, and taking him home. He seems fine. Even if you all think so, he’s not on the murder list.

**Me:** don’t take that as evidence that there is a murder list.

**Me:** Sorry, C. Hard to text while climbing a tree and then having to use myself as rope to lower Nursey cuz he didn’t wanna jump. If this were less weird circumstances, it’d be chirping gold. I just hope the stupid bastard’s okay. He’s extra apologetic.

**Chris Chow:** Yeah, be nice to him. Even if it’s stupid, he’s had a rough night.

**Me:** I know. This is why I’m not gonna. I’m not that much of an asshole. Thanks, also, for your concern during the game. I didn’t mean to come out, but Nursey overshadowed the whole thing pretty nicely.

**Chris Chow:** Frogs gotta look out for each other!

**Me:** Remind me, when I’m recovered from the hangover I’ve earned, to tell you about tonight’s shenanigans. Sleep well when you get there.

**Louis Agarwal:** You, too, pumpkin. Hope it wasn’t too dramatic.

**Me:** I wasn’t. Nursey, well…

Dex pocketed his phone and they kept walking back to the dorm, Nursey slumped over Dex. All the fight had gone out of him, and he had fallen into an odd space between ambulatory and deadweight. With his free hand, Dex tried to reassure Nursey by rubbing circles on the back of the hand slung over his shoulders

‘The guys are all worried about you. They were gonna send out search parties. In addition to just me.’

Nursey mumbled something Dex couldn’t quite hear—it almost sounded like Nursey was declaring it not worth the effort. Dex didn’t want that to be what Nursey’d said, so it just wasn’t. He clutched Nursey closer, so he was nearly half-carrying him.

They got back to Nursey’s dorm with minimal further trouble. Dex only fumbled a little bit to get his keycard to the building. Stairs were… complicated, but eventually they managed. Getting Nursey’s keys from his pocket was a bit awkward, but not nearly as awkward as Dex having to help get Nursey ready for bed. Before steering Nursey toward his bed, Dex made sure to get his coat off.

‘You’re home Nursey. You should go to bed. I’m gonna get you a hoodie to sleep in. Your job is to change into it, k?’

Nursey grunted. Dex sighed. He got Nursey’s shoes off, since that would be difficult for the idiot in his current state, and then put the bottle of Gatorade he’d snagged from the Haus by Nursey’s bedside lamp, along with the bottle of aspirin from his desk. He then rummaged through Nursey’s clean clothes pile to get him a hoodie to sleep in.

In that time, Nursey managed to undo his pants.

Dex tried not to laugh. With the plaintive way Nursey was looking at him, it would undermine his efforts at reassurance. He tossed Nursey the hoodie.

‘Consider changing into that—it hasn’t had booze spilled on it or been up a tree in the cold for half an hour.’

Nursey eventually managed to change, with Dex offering patient encouragement and trying to avoid either rolling his eyes or helping, because one wouldn’t help and the other could make things really weird. Well, given the night, weird _er_. He tucked Nursey in, though. Turned the lights out and trekked back to his own dorm.

**Me:** You got any insight into what the shitting hell that was all about?

**Chris Chow:** Uhhhhhhhh no? You get him back to his dorm okay?

**Me:** yeah, he’s all tucked in and hopefully passed the fuck out. I wanna know what the hell it was, but don’t wanna, like, press in the morning in case it’s like, some big private thing. 

**Me:** Fuck. When did I become the tactful one?

**Chris Chow:** I’m sure it’s a temporary problem, Dex. Go sleep. You need it, too.

**Me:** Yeah. G’night, C.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fairly old piece, which may yet be slotted in as a chapter for Syn/Ack when someday I get to it. Written mostly on a bus back and forth from caring for my grandmother. It fit today's theme for the unofficial NurseyDex week, so I figured I'd toss it up.


End file.
